Preface: Dream Big

I never thought I would do a second CD. Most people who meet me think I come across as a confident person; a person who is very sure about herself. This is not always the case. At the Women¡¯s Retreat this year, one of the questions asked by the speaker was ¡°What name are you carrying with you that is not from God?¡± Hmmm ¡¦. Not pretty enough¡¦Not smart enough¡¦??? For me, I felt I wasn¡¯t good enough musically.

The speaker said, ¡° We are his beloved and its time for us to claim that identity instead of listening to the world¡¯s identity¡±. The theme of the retreat was from Isaiah 43:1B. Unfortunately my heart was heavy, burdened with the identity given by the world. I did not feel good about myself at all and wanted to crawl away and hide. But God spoke to me. He said, ¡°Grace, I am breaking you to set you free, not to shame you.¡± But it was hard to accept that I was His beloved.

We were broken into groups. My group leader continued with the theme. ¡°Confess the names that you carry¡±. I couldn¡¯t do it. It was too hard for me to share. In my group they were all leaders. I was too humiliated and scared to open my mouth. I had never felt this way before and it was uncharacteristically hard for me to speak up. Our next objective was for us to expand the discussion based on the first question. This time, God was leading me. I expressed my feelings and the tears just flowed. That was the beginning. I had to make a conscious effort to accept my identity as His beloved and not the name that I have been carrying for myself.

One week later, I made a promise to God that I would make HIM known through the gifts that HE had given me. My gift was the writing of songs. Suddenly, I felt free. Excited about my assignments ahead, (whatever they were). My roommate from the retreat asked me to write songs about Psalms. I decided that God¡¯s dreams are big dreams. I looked forward to being part of accomplishing these dreams but had yet to comprehend how I would be part of fulfilling them.

God was quietly paving the way. Two weeks after the retreat, my husband Ken was entertaining a business associate from Korea and at the time let him listen to my first CD. When this gentleman heard it, he wanted to know ¡°when¡¯s your wife¡¯s next CD coming out?¡± Ken replied, ¡°When someone finances it!¡± To my surprise, this man said he would do it!

What?! Is he pulling my leg?? Actually I said ¡°is he drunk¡±?, Meant no offense, I was just shocked! Turns out, he was not drunk. He just liked my CD He also had in mind a Korean singer to sing some of the songs. Oh wow! Is this an answer to my prayers or what? The dream to make HIS name known goes on. The singer he had in mind is a Christian. Her mother is a graphic artist/cellist/editor for the Korean version of this CD! I had 3 goals. The first was to make an English version, the second a Korean version and last but not least to hold concerts. The first 2 are done and we are praying for the third. I know that God is paving the way!

In making this CD my life has been touched by so many people. Doors are opening all over. God is paving the way. I am ever so grateful and I have learned so much . I now KNOW that I am HIS BELOVED. DREAM BIG and BELIEVE!

I want to thank God for the His faithfulness and the volunteers for their joyful services unto the Lord. We are thankful for the opportunity to serve.

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